Not all school anxiety shows up in the form of back-to-school or starting-school nerves. Sometimes, challenges crop up a few weeks in — and they can catch parents more off guard.
Indeed, even if children don’t have an anxiety disorder, nearly one in four children reported worrying at least once a week, according to a 2023 survey by Nemours KidsHealth. The kids credited school as the most common source of worries (64 percent), followed by friendships (41 percent).
Here are 5 common worries kids face a few weeks into the school year, as well as suggestions for how to help:
- Delayed Separation Anxiety. Some children develop separation anxiety later than parents may expect as the newness and novelty wears off. The school days seem long, especially for young children as Thursday and Friday approach, and they don’t want to leave you. Consider creating a special goodbye ritual, such as a special hug or secret handshake, and remind them when you’ll be back and that their teacher is there to help. Keep goodbyes short and positive. Maybe start a Thursday after-school treat tradition to give your child something to look forward to late in the week and reward their hard work.
- Feeling Nervous or Shy. As children switch seating assignments, alternate playmates at recess, or find new interests, the relationship transitions can shake some children. Reassure your child that it’s OK to feel nervous or shy, or to feel discomfort with change, perhaps sharing a story from your childhood. Affirm your belief that your child will overcome this uncomfortable feeling and find good friends at school. Consider letting your child carry a small comfort item or family photo (contact the teacher with questions; they’re usually eager to help!).
- Excited but Tired. Even for children who enjoy school, the day can be exhausting (again, especially by Thursday or Friday). Keep the evening calm and cozy, offering quiet time with a favorite book or toy — or snuggles with you! Resist the pressure to sign up for too many activities or overschedule. Don’t push for details about the day; allow your child to share at his or her own pace.
- Confused about Expectations. Some children are particularly sensitive to making mistakes or to correction from a teacher, even if it is mild. If your child comes home discouraged or withdrawn because of a mistake at school, reassure your child that everyone makes mistakes — that’s part of learning! If your child remains troubled, try acting out the situation so your child can practice raising his hand, getting in line, packing her bag, or whatever fits the circumstance. Repetition in a lighthearted play context builds confidence. If needed, contact the teacher for guidance.
- Not Feeling Good Physically. Depending on age, children may show any or multiple physical signs of anxiety. Children may not be aware of the reasons, but their bodies communicate the anxiety via stomachaches or headaches. As they get older, it may show up more as irritability or withdrawing. Neurodivergent children may display heightened sensory sensitivity or more rigid adherence to routines or behaviors. Offer opportunities for your child to relax after school and openly discuss these feelings in a supportive manner. Prioritize sufficient sleep, hydration and nutritious meals. Predictable morning and evening routines also can help. If these issues persist or worsen, consult your pediatrician.
Parenting can be incredibly challenging. Pariva Health guides parents and children through these complexities, offering an array of therapy services via telehealth for seamless, accessible hope and help. With broad expertise, an aversion to wait lists and a firm belief in the power of play, we help children make developmental strides and parents relieve stress. Fill out this brief form to get started today.