January has earned a reputation as the most depressing month of the year (and some say the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of that most depressing month). Regardless, the beginning of a new year tends to be emotionally challenging for parents and children alike.
Readjusting to routine (especially after a long school break and probably some late nights) is never easy. Then there’s the letdown of the holidays ending, short days, typically harsh weather (cabin fever!), and perhaps reality stripping the sheen off hopeful New Year’s resolutions. And let’s face it — helping others deal with difficult emotions can be draining, as well.
We totally understand. While we can’t fix everything for you, here are a few strategies that may help.
- Remember (or remind your child) that feeling bad is OK.
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst pretty well encapsulates a truly awful day for a child.
He wakes up with gum in his hair, everyone else gets all the breaks, he gets into trouble without meaning to, friends are mean — nothing goes his way. He thinks he should move to Australia.
(If the contemporary classic was set in January, it would cover all the bases. But I digress.)
At the very end, Alexander’s mom tells him: “Some days are like that. Even in Australia.”
Acknowledging a bad day and the accompanying emotions, without trying to diminish it or put a positive spin on it, helps release these tough feelings, build resilience, and prevent a negativity spiral. This Harvard Health article touches on three studies demonstrating the benefits of accepting negative emotions.
- Remember the body’s basic needs (yours and your child’s!).
The initial discipline of prioritizing sleep may be difficult, but it will pay off. You can’t reset everything immediately after a holiday break, but sleep is a great place to start.
Then, try to spend a little time doing something active outside. Start with a low-pressure goal, like a five-minute walk. Bonus points if you can come up with ideas that appeal to everyone!
Next, ease away from screen time and sweets. Swapping out sweets for healthier treats helps (maybe a strawberry and whipped cream dessert, for example).
Take things gradually and be forgiving when days go sideways. Baby steps get you pretty far over time.
- When things get too serious, remember to play.
We lean heavily into the power of play to help parents coach their children. It works. Adults end up smiling, and kids open up, learning and growing in ways they may not otherwise.
Sometimes, you can initiate a family game for connection and fun. (Our blog has lots of ideas.)
Other times, you can employ play spontaneously. In a tense situation, people tend to get increasingly serious and guarded. De-escalating requires changing the game.
Insert a ridiculous word into a conversation. Make a self-deprecating joke. Give a 30-second hug. Grab a piece of food out of the fridge and hand it to a family member as a trophy for something ridiculous.
Maybe your preschooler balks when school dropoff comes. One game that might work is pretending you’re never going to let your child go. Let her escape, then grab her again and hug her, saying she can’t get away. Repeat a few times until you smile and wave and say you’ll get her next time.
These are jumping-off points — hopefully they’ll help you think up playful ideas that fit your family.
May this January be your best yet!
Pariva Health has helped more than 25,000 families and counting — find out more about the special ways in which we empower families, offering hope and help, with lots of play and no wait list.